Okay, I know it seems like I’ve got blogging fever, but I actually was inspired to start this blog by the cluster of dating-related events that have happened to me so far this summer. It wouldn’t be fair to cool down until I’m up-to-date, which I will be after this post.At the beginning of the summer I had three hometown set-ups to look forward to. One is a friend of a friend of my mother, one is the brother of a young couple in my home ward, and one is an old pal getting home from his mission whose mom is eager to get us together.
Well…one down, two to go.
Earlier this week, Set-Up #1 called my home phone to arrange our date. I guess he had gotten it from my mom’s friend, I dunno.
The next day, he picked me up at 9:00 a.m. sharp. Yes, you read that right: 9:00 in the morning.
Here’s what I have to say about the Hierarchy of First Dates.
1. Friday night: you’re #1! More special than Saturday night for some reason, Friday night means that you are his top priority this week. He might have had to ditch class or work early to get ready for you. Awesome!
2. Saturday night: Still awesome, but a little less special. He probably spent the whole day watching sports in his underwear and was dying to get out of the house by nighttime anyway. At least you got a coveted Weekend Evening spot.
3. Any Weeknight: Sorry sister, but he’s got somebody better than you on the docket for the weekend. At least you guys can probably walk into a restaurant without a reservation.
4. Saturday, daytime: Possible good time for a Group Activity, which we all know are less special than real dates. This could lead to awkwardness when it comes time to split the check—is this a date or isn’t it? Another possibility is an outdoor or sporting activity, which can be potentially disastrous on a first date.
5. Lunch Date: Really? He can’t fit you in any night of the week? That’s rough, girl.
6. Breakfast Date: Reminds me of freshman year when guys would sometimes set morning dates for the Cannon Center. Cool.
However, Cody is exempt from the Hierarchy—even though the Hierarchy does say a lot about how a guy views you and your potential relationship—because he works (as a Bug Guy, natch) until 10pm every day except Saturday. I’m sure that does wonders for his social life.
Turns out he lives in some swanky new apartments not 5 minutes from my house. Before I got my hopes up too much vis à vis his income level*, he explained that the sales company provided the digs. He brought all the ingredients to make crêpes to the apartment clubhouse, but neglected to bring a mixing bowl, spatula, or whisk. Being the insanely clever female McGyver that I am, I suggested we dump out a shallow decorative vase and use that.
I was pleasantly surprised that there were no awkward pauses at all: the conversation flowed pretty naturally. But he didn’t make me laugh.
We shot a few games of pool and ended up driving around so I could show him some of the local haunts. I didn't really want to do that, but he seemed very eager for the date to continue I guess. Finally we ended up at a big park...I declined his suggestion to join the crowd of toddlers on the playground (I wasn’t keen on kicking a bunch of kids off the swingset), and then he dropped me off at home. At last. I think the worst thing a guy can do on a first date is let it go on too long, ya know?
I should note that he was a gentleman, that he was very nice, and that we had a decent enough time getting to know each other. There was zero spark, though. The only time we made physical contact was when he shook my hand in front of my mom when he picked me up. I guess I’ll see him at the singles ward, but there will not be a second date.
The best part of all this? He doesn’t have my phone number. Not my cell, anyway. This means…drumroll…No Awkward Texting. No post-date texting, no midweek “what’s up?” texts, no lame textversations I can barely stay awake through. If only I’d done this with El Niño.
Seriously though, I’m kicking it old school this summer, phone-wise. Land lines are the best thing ever for guys you don’t feel like interacting with on a daily basis. He can only call you at reasonable hours, and usually only to set up a date. Texting has really broken down a lot of social barriers, barriers that in this girl’s opinion should have stayed up. Think about it: who wants to constantly text people they barely know and aren’t interested in, just because said people have your number and think texting is less intimidating?
Every guy I meet this summer is getting the land line first.
-Bea
*Say what you want, but money does for men what hotness does for women. Am I right, ladies?
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