As an avid reader and rabid fan of The Mormon Bachelor Pad, I pounced on the opportunity to present the weird and wild dating adventures of a couple of Mormon girls.
In order that we may present to you the raw and uncensored versions of our (PG-rated) dating misadventures, all names have been changed, including our own. Like Gossip Girl, only more highbrow. See, we took the classy monikers of Beatrice and Laura.
Beatrice and Laura were such stone foxes that two of the greatest poets ever, Dante Alighieri and Francesco Petrarch, saw them each, like, ONE time and decided to dedicate some of the greatest literature in the Italian language to these chicks. Here and here are some examples, but I promise they're the tip of the iceberg: both men wrote mind-boggling volumes of work about their respective muses. Beatrice’s hotness was the reason Dante added a Paradise after the Inferno. And in Paradise, Bea’s burning testimony made her the head honcho angel guide or something. Laura’s sizzlin’ good looks (and spirituality—he met her in church!) were pretty much the reason Petrarch invented sonnets or whatever he did with that.
So obviously my red-hot roommate and I have tons in common with these Italian goddesses of ultimate desirability. And even if we don’t (spoiler alert: we totally don’t), their example should inspire us, right?
We’re separated for the summer, but will soon be together in Provo, ready to break some hearts (possibly our own). In the meantime, allow me to regale you with tales of a summer singles ward. My roommate, “Laura,” will join us later with war stories from BYU’s spring semester before she heads back to SoCal.
I’m Beatrice, by the way. Hence the picture of Beatrix Kiddo, another classy Bea that inspires me every day…only instead of man-snaring, she teaches me about sweet sweet revenge when a boy done me wrong. Watch out, guys!
-Bea
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